Considered as one of the greatest epics among Indian Writings, Ramayana, a voluminous book, which can do a better justice than my pillow, has kept Indians divided on Religious lines. A chapter says, Rama, the hero, built an artificial bridge between India and SriLanka, which has come now to stop India from benefiting by widening the channel. The Adam's Bridge(I don't know, why is it called so, when Rama built it in the first place), instead of connecting people has divided men. I have read the book a couple of times and I can't resist writing about, how funny the book is.
Dasharatha, who is believed to be the father of Rama, is said to have had 60,000 wives. An average human, living for about 70 years, has got about 25,000 days to live. Even if he had started at the age of 15, he would have had 20,000 days and three women to marry each day, till he was dead. If it ever happened, I bet over three-quarters his wives died virgin. And mysteriously, this stunning story, comes in only certain volumes of the book. Then, the mentioned three wives of him, had no babies till the day a priest came town. He gave all of them boons. In the next year, the three of them had 4 babies. This calls for a debate, who is Rama's real father. But, let me not speculate. For the time being, Dasharatha will play Rama's father.
Blame this author, if you are bored reading books and seeing movies, where is hero is nothing but a super human, who is bold, brilliant, beautiful, brave, smart and a hell lot, even as a child. Rama was everything of these, as a child. However, most of his teen ages are not written about. May be he was a spoilt kid then. And maybe the readers did not want to read them. One fine chapter, he grows in a nice young man, mastering all art forms and knowing not nothing. Same crap.
In his young age, he does a lot of supernaturally funny things. he gives life back to stone, which was a cursed woman. He breaks a good bow for marrying a woman. As no prince ever did before, he waged no wars. Instead he preached love as one philosopher. He was really kind and loving, whereas other princes were cruelly tyrant. The only thing he did, that makes some sense is to love a supposedly beautiful girl. The only human thing he ever did in that book.
Then, without warning, a 14 year exile is slapped on him. He could have been expecting a honeymoon package. He was just married. Or at least he could have considered the exile, an extended honeymoon had his loving brother, Laxman did not come along with him. I am not too sure who Laxman was loving, Rama or his wife, Sita. Rama would have cursed Laxman, a 1000 thousand times for this. And then comes the insane bugger, Bharat, who stripped Rama of his sandals, when he was venturing into the Wild. A really cruel man he must be. And he placed the stinking sandal on the crown for the next 14 years. What the hell was that? He must have been the second most foolish person in the book.
Let's come to the worst fool, Ravana. He had a lust on Sita, kidnapped her and for what the fuck? He let her roam the gardens freely, fed her well, offered her company and security, for absolutely nothing? And guess what he got? The kingdom destroyed, his family killed and the country devastated. Sita must have enjoyed her stay in SriLanka. She would have been more than happy to stay away from all the animals in the jungle and the two even much worse creatures lying by her bed. She would have no time to identify whom leapt on her on any given day. Had i been Ravana, I would have at least made her a mistress, or in the worst case raped her. But, why the fuck did he kidnap her in the first place? I have no answers to this question.
And when the war was over, Sita is asked to prove to Rama and for that she jumps into fire and comes out unharmed. Maybe if she lived now, we could have saved all fire fighters who lost their lives. It is a good idea to raise this lady from dead. Well, we will have to find her imaginary tomb first.
And the fucking climax. All lived happily together. Total bull shit, sorry, Holy shit !
What if they made a Hollywood movie out of this, outta this? Of course, Ron Howard will direct. Hans Zimmer will compose. Tom Hanks will be Rama. Gary Sinise, Laxman. Ed Harris as Ravana. God knows who will play the husband of 60,00 wives. To add some glamour to the movie, Angelina Jolie stars as Sita. Nicole Kidman, Catherine Zeta Jones and Penelope Cruz play Dasharatha's mentioned wives. Salma Hayek will play Ravana's sister. Obviously, Morgan Freeman will play a guest role, and Samuel Jackson, a special appearance. Christian Bale can play Valee, the ape king(he will not need a mouth make-up) and I suggest, Jim Carrey for Hanuman. Earth will be India, Saturn will be the forest and Titan will be Srilanka. Tom Hanks will build an artificial bridge connecting the heavenly bodies.
Well, I am not against the book, its author or any religion. I fell sorry for them, for what modern men have done to them. By making Rama a super hero, they have made the book as funny as possible. And they have let all the good morals written in the book to rotten. Curse all modern humans.
7 comments:
really funny Mr. Ila....
it seems you never read ramayana ....
your whole story was based on the fact that ravana didnt do anything to sita....
Firstly of all Ravana was not as bad as you think, he wanted to attain Sita by her wish and not out of compulsion.
Secondly Sita had a boon(or something of that sort) to burn anyone who touches her without her permission..
So it must be either you or I who have to read RAMAYANA again he he he
Well, My last paragraph is only based on the fact that Ravana did nothing to Sita.
And I never said Ravana is bad. I only said he is a fool. If whatever you said is there in Ramayana, it proves that Ravana is much bigger fool than what i had thought him to be.
And i guess, we both don't have much time to waste, reading this funny book again !
i think you are one complete asshole mr. ilavaluthy...a li'l analysis of the scripture wud have given all answers to ur stupid ilavaluthism
Thank you Mr. Anonymous. Revealing your identity could have been a good move. I had guts to post an article, you dont have the guts to just write a comment with your identity ?
Hi Ila,
Sadly I didn't see it funny, with those words used :(
These epics are literary works and should be viewed in that context. These works helped us in understanding the prespective of those in that era. Mahabharata is one good example.. Clans in that period added some roles for their clan to the epic to ascertain their importance.. this gave an insight into these clans. Its something like that..
Religion..? I don't think if "Hinduism" existed as a religion by then. If the intent was to ridicule those who don't understand this, you ended up being one among them!
When you can appreciate Spiderman, Superman & Vijay movies... why not these?
Your Friendly Neighbour,
Sai ;)
I suggest u either appreciate the epic artifact or just shut ur rear end.
As for your logical (or so) analysis - I can only tell that u never read the original script of Ramayana. Either you must have watched Ramayana cartoon or just playing a jerk.
BTW, Ramayana is considered a proper noun - it is even encapsulated in dictionary - considered worlds greatest epic. Now weigh the minds of all those intellectuals against ur narrow mind !
Post a Comment