The Class Clown !

I have been doing this for over six years now. Be it in high school, college or at job, I have been doing all goofy things to make people laugh, for the total amusement of complete strangers. When I made people happy, I never worried looking wacky. I can lower and debase myself, if some one enjoys, me doing that. In fact, I am proud of doing all these. I have always felt that, I have the gift to bring laughter and joy to all of mankind. I did bring. And of course, there's nothing wrong in making people laugh. You become famous. All people like you. They come to you. But, something comes along with it.

To be a good clown, you must be an emotionless, ludicrous bugger. You must know only one way to emote, laugh. Just laugh for everything. When some one smiles at you, when some one helps you, when some one sympathizes you, when some one laughs at you, when some one teases you, when some one bullies you, when some one hurts you, simply laugh, as if you don't have a heart and brain. When they curse you, when they speak ill of you, when they disgrace you, laugh, as if you were born for that. And a good clown, always does that. At least on the outside. He like a toy in the hands of a child simply smiles back no matter what the kid does to him. But lot of some ones choose to ignore that the clown is no toy and they are no kids. The clown just laughs, suppressing all his emotions.

Relationships are always tied up with emotions, aren't they? Well, what can an emotionless chunk of flesh of that of a clown do for relationships? The clown has some many admirers, so-called friends to whom, he is just a second choice. When they don't have some one else, they go to him. And he feels no stingy to give away loads of laughter. He gives them what they want. To them, he is a just a time pass, just a recreational activity, mere fun. And they are done, he is just a garbage to them. He will let them dump, laughing while they do, if they are happy about it.

And even to this so-called friends, he can show no emotions. They can't stand the sight of him when he is frustrated, confused, sad, angry, disgusted, irritated, unhappy, exhausted, tired, scared. He can not sympathize, can not pity, can not be weary. They simply can't take it. They leave him. They don't like it that way. Not one bit. They want the clown to look zany. they want him to get the stone back to them, so that they can hit him again, as if he were some monkey. The clown has no way to get into any relationship. He is always lonely.

And when no one is looking, when every one is done with him, he sits in a corner and cries. That's what he is being paid for bringing merry into your lives. he find no hands to wipe off his tears. He find no shoulders to lay down his head. He finds no one to make him laugh. And before he is done with himself, it is time to laugh again.

A clown has to hide his emotions, forget relationships and just keeping laughing irrespective of what he feels, just for the amusement of heartless assholes. He has to act like a moron, so that all dick heads can enjoy bullying him. he has to cry, to make others laugh.

People scribble a lot into their life book. And, most of the times, end up drawing something ugly. The clown is just a piece of rubber, capable of erasing all sad and ugly moments out of their life. He makes their life books look clean and neat. But, he keeps dying in that process and you choose to ignore that.

You can't imagine a clown crying. I can. And it hurts. But still, I got some fuel. I take inspiration from Charlie Chaplin.