Teach the young the essential virtues!
Yesterday, after a very long time, I visited a barber shop for a haircut and a shave. My experience there induced me to write this article. And when I talk of experience, I do not mean the duel my hair had with the blade. Though I would love to talk about it for it was the first time my hair met with clean scissors and combs, I would like to keep that for a later article.
You might ask, 'What else could someone experience at the barbers other than knives and dyes?' Well, a lot a really.
When I stepped into the shop at seven in the evening, it was infested with men most of whom sported long unkempt hair and messy beards. Two were already under the knife and two more were in queue. As I waited for my turn, I found myself watching a Telugu movie which featured Hansika or rather a Hansika movie which happened to be shot in Telugu. I bothered neither the dialogues nor the other actors.
About half an hour passed and the two who were before me in the queue were now in the barber chairs. A two more had joined me on the couch. Hansika was still on and all three of us on the couch were gazing at the TV. Neither of us cared to even blink.
That was when a boy and his mother hurried in. At first, they did not get my attention. But then the boy who could not have been more than twelve came between me and Hansika. So, reluctantly, I gave my attention to the newcomers.
The boy, a-boy-with-porcupine-hair, was running his eyes wildly around the shop while his mother was discussing something with the man at the counter in hushed tones. I was not able to hear her until she brought her phone out and showed the call log to the man she was conversing with.
'I've been trying to reach you for the past one hour. Your phone is dead.' She told the old man.
'I'm sorry, madam. You can wait there.' The old man pointed her to a seat.
'Will it be long?' There was a sense of urgency in her voice.
'There are three of them waiting.'
'Is that so?' She turned to have a look at us and then to her boy. 'Anshul, can you request them to let you be next in the queue?' She did not wait for him to make that request instead she went about it. 'His hair only needs trimming. It will not be more than five minutes.'
And I thought I was just a shave away from my turn.
One of the men sitting beside me protested immediately. 'But mam, we've been waiting here for long.' Me and other guy sat in silence. We neither protested nor agreed to her request. But truth be told. We were just embarrassed to ask the lady to wait while the other fellow at least had the courage to say it.
What happened next is irrelevant to this article. But from what I have told you, there are two troubling things.
1) A mother teaching her son how to cut corners, and
2) A group of youngsters showing no empathy.
Which one of this is more alarming?
Though the second one will be seen as something immoral(even by me), the three guys were only trying to fight for what they thought is right. They had patiently waited for their turns and they did not want to give their slot to someone else. As long as this behavior is not exhibited at times of painful need, it can be tolerated.
However, the first one is appalling. Simply because of the reason that here is a young one learning from his elders and the lesson that is dished out to him is that he does not have to wait for his turn if he has a reason, however lame it might be. This is one of many scenarios where young ones learn impatience.
Do we stop there?
The modern economy dictates many to place their ambitions before relations and urban couples who face the brunt of untamed development settle for a single child nowadays. Like with any other single child, all love is forced on this child whether he/she needs it or not. This is where all the problem starts.
These children are pampered so much so that they never grow and when it is time to face the world, they lack the courage to do it. Studies show that more often than not, pampered children lack responsibility, both familial and social. They are found to be spendthrift, recluse and reckless.
A child learns to cry only when hundred hands come to his/her rescue when he/she falls down and get a few bruises. But the same child will learn to get up and walk away, brushing away the dirt if no hands are there to help him/her. So, don't give your hand instead encourage him/her to get up.
Give a child only what he/she needs, not what he/she wants. Teach the child the difference between the two. Just because you have the means, does not mean that you also have to provide the young with what he/she does not really need. Make sure that the child earns what he/she wants.
Don't forget to show him/her your roots. Though you might be rich today, you might not have a few years ago. Show him that hard work pays and honesty honours.
Patience is a virtue. Teach him. After all, Rome was not built in a single day.
Love and respect can never be bought. One has to give it to gain it.
Share your belongings with your neighbours in need. Empathy starts around home.
Be kind to your parents. Only then your child will be kind to you. When you send your parents to old age homes, remember that you will be sent there too.
Teach him/her to respect differences. All five fingers are not the same. Neither can be men. Tell him to have convictions and opinions, but not to tread on that of others.
When your child makes a mistake, make sure he knows he has to pay for it. Never blame another child for his/her deeds.
Most of all, tell him/her to stay true to his/her conscience.
So, something to keep in your mind when you have a child
1) Don't pamper the child, Encourage him/her instead.
2) Teach the child the difference between needs and wants. Wants must be earned.
3) Show him that there is no substitute to hard work and honesty.
4) Teach patience. Ask him to wait for his turn without cutting corners.
5) Love and respect can only be gained by giving. Give him/her both.
6) Show your roots. Empathy is born within and around home.
7) Be kind to others. You are the child's first teacher.
8) Men differentiate, God don't. Tell him that he could be worshiped one day.
9) Tell him the story of Manu Needhi Cholan(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manu_Needhi_Cholan).
10) Show him that conscience is the best judge. It will punish immediately when one commits a mistake.
You might ask, 'What else could someone experience at the barbers other than knives and dyes?' Well, a lot a really.
When I stepped into the shop at seven in the evening, it was infested with men most of whom sported long unkempt hair and messy beards. Two were already under the knife and two more were in queue. As I waited for my turn, I found myself watching a Telugu movie which featured Hansika or rather a Hansika movie which happened to be shot in Telugu. I bothered neither the dialogues nor the other actors.
About half an hour passed and the two who were before me in the queue were now in the barber chairs. A two more had joined me on the couch. Hansika was still on and all three of us on the couch were gazing at the TV. Neither of us cared to even blink.
That was when a boy and his mother hurried in. At first, they did not get my attention. But then the boy who could not have been more than twelve came between me and Hansika. So, reluctantly, I gave my attention to the newcomers.
The boy, a-boy-with-porcupine-hair, was running his eyes wildly around the shop while his mother was discussing something with the man at the counter in hushed tones. I was not able to hear her until she brought her phone out and showed the call log to the man she was conversing with.
'I've been trying to reach you for the past one hour. Your phone is dead.' She told the old man.
'I'm sorry, madam. You can wait there.' The old man pointed her to a seat.
'Will it be long?' There was a sense of urgency in her voice.
'There are three of them waiting.'
'Is that so?' She turned to have a look at us and then to her boy. 'Anshul, can you request them to let you be next in the queue?' She did not wait for him to make that request instead she went about it. 'His hair only needs trimming. It will not be more than five minutes.'
And I thought I was just a shave away from my turn.
One of the men sitting beside me protested immediately. 'But mam, we've been waiting here for long.' Me and other guy sat in silence. We neither protested nor agreed to her request. But truth be told. We were just embarrassed to ask the lady to wait while the other fellow at least had the courage to say it.
What happened next is irrelevant to this article. But from what I have told you, there are two troubling things.
1) A mother teaching her son how to cut corners, and
2) A group of youngsters showing no empathy.
Which one of this is more alarming?
Though the second one will be seen as something immoral(even by me), the three guys were only trying to fight for what they thought is right. They had patiently waited for their turns and they did not want to give their slot to someone else. As long as this behavior is not exhibited at times of painful need, it can be tolerated.
However, the first one is appalling. Simply because of the reason that here is a young one learning from his elders and the lesson that is dished out to him is that he does not have to wait for his turn if he has a reason, however lame it might be. This is one of many scenarios where young ones learn impatience.
Do we stop there?
The modern economy dictates many to place their ambitions before relations and urban couples who face the brunt of untamed development settle for a single child nowadays. Like with any other single child, all love is forced on this child whether he/she needs it or not. This is where all the problem starts.
These children are pampered so much so that they never grow and when it is time to face the world, they lack the courage to do it. Studies show that more often than not, pampered children lack responsibility, both familial and social. They are found to be spendthrift, recluse and reckless.
A child learns to cry only when hundred hands come to his/her rescue when he/she falls down and get a few bruises. But the same child will learn to get up and walk away, brushing away the dirt if no hands are there to help him/her. So, don't give your hand instead encourage him/her to get up.
Give a child only what he/she needs, not what he/she wants. Teach the child the difference between the two. Just because you have the means, does not mean that you also have to provide the young with what he/she does not really need. Make sure that the child earns what he/she wants.
Don't forget to show him/her your roots. Though you might be rich today, you might not have a few years ago. Show him that hard work pays and honesty honours.
Patience is a virtue. Teach him. After all, Rome was not built in a single day.
Love and respect can never be bought. One has to give it to gain it.
Share your belongings with your neighbours in need. Empathy starts around home.
Be kind to your parents. Only then your child will be kind to you. When you send your parents to old age homes, remember that you will be sent there too.
Teach him/her to respect differences. All five fingers are not the same. Neither can be men. Tell him to have convictions and opinions, but not to tread on that of others.
When your child makes a mistake, make sure he knows he has to pay for it. Never blame another child for his/her deeds.
Most of all, tell him/her to stay true to his/her conscience.
So, something to keep in your mind when you have a child
1) Don't pamper the child, Encourage him/her instead.
2) Teach the child the difference between needs and wants. Wants must be earned.
3) Show him that there is no substitute to hard work and honesty.
4) Teach patience. Ask him to wait for his turn without cutting corners.
5) Love and respect can only be gained by giving. Give him/her both.
6) Show your roots. Empathy is born within and around home.
7) Be kind to others. You are the child's first teacher.
8) Men differentiate, God don't. Tell him that he could be worshiped one day.
9) Tell him the story of Manu Needhi Cholan(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manu_Needhi_Cholan).
10) Show him that conscience is the best judge. It will punish immediately when one commits a mistake.
Comments
"Wants must be earned" - nice way to put.
Parenting is not as easy as it looks. When a stupid becomes a parent he spoils next generation as well.
As one of my friend said " You can always give a candy to crying child, but you would have to face the behavioral issue accompanied with that"